ADHD AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH

Masking in Adults with ADHD: What It Is and Why It’s Exhausting

Understanding the hidden effort behind fitting in

What is ADHD Masking?

Masking is the process of consciously or unconsciously hiding ADHD traits to blend into social, academic, or professional environments. This may involve suppressing behaviours, overcorrecting perceived “flaws,” or mimicking others to avoid standing out.

For many, masking began in childhood as a way to avoid criticism, rejection, or confusion. Over time, it can become automatic and deeply ingrained. While it may seem useful for navigating daily life, it often comes at a high personal cost.

If you are exploring whether ADHD could be contributing to your experiences, it may be helpful to learn more about ADHD and our ADHD treatment process.

Common Examples of Masking

Adults with ADHD often describe masking behaviours such as:

Double-checking every message or email for tone and clarity
Suppressing fidgeting or impulsive remarks
Over-preparing for meetings or social events
Copying others’ organisational systems, even if they feel unnatural
Downplaying or hiding signs of distraction or overwhelm

While these strategies can help avoid misunderstanding in the short term, they are mentally and emotionally draining.

Masking vs. Coping Strategies

It’s important to distinguish between masking and healthy coping. Coping strategies are supportive tools (using reminders, timers, or structured routines), that help ADHD brains thrive while still respecting their natural differences.

Masking, on the other hand, is about hiding or suppressing traits out of fear of judgement. For example:

Coping: Setting an alarm to remember tasks.
Masking: Pretending to be “naturally organised” while secretly overworking to keep up appearances.

Recognising this difference helps adults with ADHD move toward strategies that build confidence rather than erode it.

Why Masking Can Be So Exhausting

The mental load of masking is significant. Continuously monitoring behaviour, second-guessing decisions, and adjusting communication can lead to:

Mental fatigue: Continuous self-monitoring drains cognitive energy
Emotional burnout: Suppressing authentic emotions raises stress
Identity confusion: Long-term masking can blur one’s sense of self
Reduced self-compassion: People who mask may feel inadequate as their authentic selves

Masking can also delay ADHD diagnosis. Research suggests that people who mask often appear “high functioning,” which can lead family, teachers, and even healthcare professionals to miss or underestimate ADHD symptoms. This is especially common for women with ADHD, where social pressures encourage masking and outward resilience is misinterpreted as not needing support.

How to Recognise When You're Masking

Because masking can become second nature, many adults don’t realise when they’re doing it. Signs may include:

Feeling drained after social or work interactions
Rehearsing conversations in advance
Experiencing interactions as a “performance”
Wondering how you would act without self-monitoring

Recognising these patterns can be the first step toward relief. Our ADHD treatment process provides a supportive framework to explore these experiences with validation and care.

Moving Towards Self-Understanding

Unmasking is not about abandoning social expectations. Instead, it is about developing strategies that are sustainable and aligned with your natural way of thinking. With the right support, many adults find they can:

Build environments that support their traits rather than suppress them
Develop strategies suited to their strengths
Create relationships where they feel safe being authentic

Treatment pathways may include coaching, psychological support, or working with a psychiatrist experienced in ADHD. These professionals can help tailor an individualised care plan.

Conclusion

Masking may have once been a coping strategy, but over time it can leave adults with ADHD feeling depleted and disconnected. By learning to recognise masking behaviours and replace them with supportive strategies, adults can move toward greater self-understanding and emotional wellbeing.

If you recognise yourself in these patterns, you don’t have to navigate them alone. Explore our ADHD resources to learn more about ADHD and the support available.